i am trying to remain positive in light of all the things that keep happening to me, but i think its time for a break! as everyone knows i went back to work part time. it worked out for our schedule and our finances. there wasnt a lot of playing room in the ol check book, but we managed it well...
june 18th was like any other day, john went to work at 9. what was a bit different was he was back at 1030. he was "let go" from his 7 year long employment at tom ahl. no warning, no real reason. come to find out later it was probably because they needed to make room for employees from the recently bought out findlay tom ahl store. he wasnt the only unfortunate person. so, while he has sent out many resumes and even had an interview, our future is uncertain. he has 2 more weeks to see if he is even eligible for unemployment. heck, verizon is already calling...
i definitely enjoy having him around during the day though, thats for sure. an extra set of hands is always nice! we have never spent this much time together. i am getting better with it. at first it was weird, he was all up in my day. now we take turns sleeping in, making lunch etc. i could get used to this! if only he got paid to help around the house!
it always feels as if when it rains it pours. im frustrated that im paying off a $700 water bill from my previous renters, also frustrated that i sent a $125 check for a phone i never received. i dropped and broke my new camera. my week old scale broke (i was able to return it though). i hate saying no to the kids when they want something. i know things will turn around for us, but waiting is no fun.
BUT, we are all alive and healthy. we are enjoying our summer. lillian turned 7, sebastian is close behind her to turn 6 next month. leyton, amity and atticus all had wonderful well child exams. amity is on day two of potty training and its going great. atticus is a fun happy smiley baby. my company (paid) picnic is in a few weeks, and my diet is going great. so despite all the above bull, things besides money are perfect. and thats whats most important :)
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Thursday, June 7, 2012
we're going to have a mexico!
ok a few updates to get out of the way. i returned to my job at the pig farm. i attempted to quit by email telling my boss that i couldnt work 50 hours a week first shift anymore with such a large family and sitter bill. i told him that maybe if i could work different hours and part time i could probably stay. (there are no other shifts, or part time people) So i thought i would be told no that it wasnt possible and i would feel ok to quit at that point. instead they LOVED the idea! so, my own special valerie hours are 3:30 to 7:30 or 8:00 or 8:30, whenever valerie feels valerie hours are over. my sole purpose there is to help the sows who may have difficulties having their babies, drying babies, making sure the babies are nursing and warm and happy. i do some laundry and other odd jobs sometimes. my job is to walk, and walk and walk. up and down the hall, up and down the back of each side of each room. i work all alone. i thought i might be scared but im not. i actually LOVE me time! after all day with the kids at home i have no problems going. sadly, compared to home its quiet. first week back my feet were hurting, now im good.
anyway, back to my title. after 5 kids john says we are done. heck he said we were done after 4 hehe. pregnancy was something special to me, as it is to most im sure. i loved each new week knowing something big was happening. i always have gotten pregnant easy, stayed pregnant easy, had easy births, etc. i guess pregnancy is just kind of "my thing". im trying to get used to the fact that i cant do my thing anymore. so, i had a great idea. im giving myself a "due date." its in march of next year. its 9 months from now. its diet time! each week will be exciting as in pregnancy. each week i WILL have accomplished something! and at the end, i am going to mexico! and, maybe i will just wear a two piece suit lol. so as in pregnancy, each week will be exciting with one big huge thing happening at the end :) the april following my march due date is john;s and my 5 year anniversary too, so something special was in order anyway
granted, this isnt the first time i have dieted. actually just before i got pregnant for atticus i had just lost 60 pounds. oopsy. so, i know what i am doing and how to do it. this time i think it may be the easiest for a few reasons. being as how i am alone at work there will be no donuts or cakes for birthdays. theres no vending machines. what i bring for my dinner there is what there is. cant cheat if i dont bring bad stuff! not to mention all the walking i do is like free exercise. i am on day four of operation lose this weight...again. so far, so perfect. i have an app on my phone called "lose it" its awesome! i recommend.. you track all your food and it has it all stored with graphs and how much you have eaten and may still eat. you add your exercises etc. also has a bar scanner so you just scan the food and it puts it all in for you. it really is nice. last time i used a food journal and it helped a lot. same thing, just less writing :)
i took my parade of kids for a walk today. felt like longer but we walked .7 miles. i pushed the two little ones in the stroller and the other 3 walked. its good for us all to get moving. i plan for us to walk daily as we try to get into a routine. i jump on the elliptical too as atticus and his non stop eating allows lol
so, things at home are busy but i feel they are going well. and after i lose 60 more pounds and go to mexico, maybe ill just get pregnant there, ok john?
anyway, back to my title. after 5 kids john says we are done. heck he said we were done after 4 hehe. pregnancy was something special to me, as it is to most im sure. i loved each new week knowing something big was happening. i always have gotten pregnant easy, stayed pregnant easy, had easy births, etc. i guess pregnancy is just kind of "my thing". im trying to get used to the fact that i cant do my thing anymore. so, i had a great idea. im giving myself a "due date." its in march of next year. its 9 months from now. its diet time! each week will be exciting as in pregnancy. each week i WILL have accomplished something! and at the end, i am going to mexico! and, maybe i will just wear a two piece suit lol. so as in pregnancy, each week will be exciting with one big huge thing happening at the end :) the april following my march due date is john;s and my 5 year anniversary too, so something special was in order anyway
granted, this isnt the first time i have dieted. actually just before i got pregnant for atticus i had just lost 60 pounds. oopsy. so, i know what i am doing and how to do it. this time i think it may be the easiest for a few reasons. being as how i am alone at work there will be no donuts or cakes for birthdays. theres no vending machines. what i bring for my dinner there is what there is. cant cheat if i dont bring bad stuff! not to mention all the walking i do is like free exercise. i am on day four of operation lose this weight...again. so far, so perfect. i have an app on my phone called "lose it" its awesome! i recommend.. you track all your food and it has it all stored with graphs and how much you have eaten and may still eat. you add your exercises etc. also has a bar scanner so you just scan the food and it puts it all in for you. it really is nice. last time i used a food journal and it helped a lot. same thing, just less writing :)
i took my parade of kids for a walk today. felt like longer but we walked .7 miles. i pushed the two little ones in the stroller and the other 3 walked. its good for us all to get moving. i plan for us to walk daily as we try to get into a routine. i jump on the elliptical too as atticus and his non stop eating allows lol
so, things at home are busy but i feel they are going well. and after i lose 60 more pounds and go to mexico, maybe ill just get pregnant there, ok john?
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
that wasnt so bad...so far lol
forgive me as this post is old news now, ive been a little busy :)
march 30th, my due date, the good doctor told me we could have a baby. i was 40 weeks, and she has a family practice and i think the weekend looked like a good option for us all. we didnt rush to the hospital. i know they starve ya there, so we ate at donatos, went to the mall, went home, picked up the older kids from school, told them what was happening, packed their bags, took another shower, etc. i was an emotional mess during this whole thing. i wanted the baby, but i wanted to stay pregnant. it just seems so final, yet its just the beginning. i was sad to leave my suddenly two year old baby behind. would she love me when i got home? i cried as i told them bye, i cried to the hospital. youd think the crying would have lead to dehydration and labor! well after we left my parents house where the kids were staying i realized lillian didnt say goodbye. i blew it off, saying shes like me, just rather avoid the situation than look like a baby haha. later my mom texted me that she found poor lillian, not so strong, hiding under the table crying. she was worried i was going to hurt, or have a c-section. no more baby shows for her!
things started pretty quick. i was 3cm when i got to the hosptial. those same 3 cm that got my hopes up 3 weeks prior that we'd have a baby before the end of the month. i got my i.v and my ice chips and my gown. lets do this. they started the pitocin. around 6 dr krendl came and broke my water. contractions werent awful. i seriously contemplated no epidural this time as the anxiety of that procedure took over. the nurse encouraged me to make up my mind as this could go very quickly. again, thinking back to my previous epidural that was horrible in so many ways, i finally reluctantly said ok. the 7 foot tall anesthesiologist was giving me a hard time that he wasnt sure he could give it to me since i didnt act like i needed it. then he said he would have hard time knowing if it worked if i wanst hurting in the first place. im good at hiding pain from strangers. :) seemed like prep time for him was forever, then he said he was done. best ever!!! i never even knew he had finsihed! smooth sailing from here right?....
i dialted to 5cm fairly quick. then 2 hours later i was still 5cm. uh oh. each contraction got harder for the baby. his heartrate dipped dangerously low (61 was the lowest i saw). we had to do something. posistion changes, on my side, other side, one leg up, on and on. nothing worked. our baby was stressing bad. they figured he was on the cord. so, more extreme measures were taken. i had to assume the posistion of knees and elbows. i had to wear oxygen. they refilled my uterus full of water to try to get the baby to float off his cord. i couldnt turn my head. i felt so awkward, on display. i kept leaning on my iv lines, setting off buzzers, etc. awful awful awful. i could only half feel my legs, my elbows hurt, you get the idea. just when i seriously thought i couldnt take it anymore they said i could turn over and see what happened. i was so hoping for a 7 or 8cm. the nurse says "shes compete!" what!? what about 7 8 and 9? we cant skip those! lol. i was not prepared for that all at once. seriously, a half hour to go from 5-10 in a half hour? made me almost forget the ridiculousness of the posistion lol
everyone scurried around to get things ready. i made john take some cell video of the actual pushing and birth. i told him no crotch shot, instead it was push faces lol. the video is priceless now and i cry when i watch it. i had to do a "practice push" which like every birth produces the baby's hair. 4 total pushes and i had a wet slimy baby on my stomach. he cried, even though his color was bad from all the stress. he didnt need any special care though. 8 lbs 13 oz, 22 inches long. he was just two ounces smaller than amity but felt twice as big. coulda been the 15 inch head?
my hosptial stay was routine. people visited, nurses were pretty good. i got 3 hot meals served to me. i sent atticus to the nursery at night and slept better than i had in a month. he took to nursing right away. i let him have formula at night in the nursery to fill him up as my milk wasnt in yet. he had one bottle of formula at home as well, but now we are full fledged nursing.
as he was punctual for his due date (just 38 minutes late), he has quite the internal clock. my mom works 3rd shift and i text her when i get up to feed him. i can say ok i will talk to you at 3. by 320 im texting mom again lol.
as for the transisition from 4-5 kids...honestly i havent really felt it yet. the van is kind of an issue as every one of my kids is in either a booster or a car seat, buckling is difficult as every spot is filled. but, the kids are good helpers and mostly do their own thing. amity may be a little emotional lately but she did just turn terrible..err i mean two. and she has lost a little sleep since atticus wont let us sleep quite till 11 like we got used to.
im tossing around some ideas right now that may be major changes for me. working 50 hours a week may not be in my future. im running out of time to decide what i am going to do, but im 75% sure there will be change around here. still thinking....
march 30th, my due date, the good doctor told me we could have a baby. i was 40 weeks, and she has a family practice and i think the weekend looked like a good option for us all. we didnt rush to the hospital. i know they starve ya there, so we ate at donatos, went to the mall, went home, picked up the older kids from school, told them what was happening, packed their bags, took another shower, etc. i was an emotional mess during this whole thing. i wanted the baby, but i wanted to stay pregnant. it just seems so final, yet its just the beginning. i was sad to leave my suddenly two year old baby behind. would she love me when i got home? i cried as i told them bye, i cried to the hospital. youd think the crying would have lead to dehydration and labor! well after we left my parents house where the kids were staying i realized lillian didnt say goodbye. i blew it off, saying shes like me, just rather avoid the situation than look like a baby haha. later my mom texted me that she found poor lillian, not so strong, hiding under the table crying. she was worried i was going to hurt, or have a c-section. no more baby shows for her!
things started pretty quick. i was 3cm when i got to the hosptial. those same 3 cm that got my hopes up 3 weeks prior that we'd have a baby before the end of the month. i got my i.v and my ice chips and my gown. lets do this. they started the pitocin. around 6 dr krendl came and broke my water. contractions werent awful. i seriously contemplated no epidural this time as the anxiety of that procedure took over. the nurse encouraged me to make up my mind as this could go very quickly. again, thinking back to my previous epidural that was horrible in so many ways, i finally reluctantly said ok. the 7 foot tall anesthesiologist was giving me a hard time that he wasnt sure he could give it to me since i didnt act like i needed it. then he said he would have hard time knowing if it worked if i wanst hurting in the first place. im good at hiding pain from strangers. :) seemed like prep time for him was forever, then he said he was done. best ever!!! i never even knew he had finsihed! smooth sailing from here right?....
i dialted to 5cm fairly quick. then 2 hours later i was still 5cm. uh oh. each contraction got harder for the baby. his heartrate dipped dangerously low (61 was the lowest i saw). we had to do something. posistion changes, on my side, other side, one leg up, on and on. nothing worked. our baby was stressing bad. they figured he was on the cord. so, more extreme measures were taken. i had to assume the posistion of knees and elbows. i had to wear oxygen. they refilled my uterus full of water to try to get the baby to float off his cord. i couldnt turn my head. i felt so awkward, on display. i kept leaning on my iv lines, setting off buzzers, etc. awful awful awful. i could only half feel my legs, my elbows hurt, you get the idea. just when i seriously thought i couldnt take it anymore they said i could turn over and see what happened. i was so hoping for a 7 or 8cm. the nurse says "shes compete!" what!? what about 7 8 and 9? we cant skip those! lol. i was not prepared for that all at once. seriously, a half hour to go from 5-10 in a half hour? made me almost forget the ridiculousness of the posistion lol
everyone scurried around to get things ready. i made john take some cell video of the actual pushing and birth. i told him no crotch shot, instead it was push faces lol. the video is priceless now and i cry when i watch it. i had to do a "practice push" which like every birth produces the baby's hair. 4 total pushes and i had a wet slimy baby on my stomach. he cried, even though his color was bad from all the stress. he didnt need any special care though. 8 lbs 13 oz, 22 inches long. he was just two ounces smaller than amity but felt twice as big. coulda been the 15 inch head?
my hosptial stay was routine. people visited, nurses were pretty good. i got 3 hot meals served to me. i sent atticus to the nursery at night and slept better than i had in a month. he took to nursing right away. i let him have formula at night in the nursery to fill him up as my milk wasnt in yet. he had one bottle of formula at home as well, but now we are full fledged nursing.
as he was punctual for his due date (just 38 minutes late), he has quite the internal clock. my mom works 3rd shift and i text her when i get up to feed him. i can say ok i will talk to you at 3. by 320 im texting mom again lol.
as for the transisition from 4-5 kids...honestly i havent really felt it yet. the van is kind of an issue as every one of my kids is in either a booster or a car seat, buckling is difficult as every spot is filled. but, the kids are good helpers and mostly do their own thing. amity may be a little emotional lately but she did just turn terrible..err i mean two. and she has lost a little sleep since atticus wont let us sleep quite till 11 like we got used to.
im tossing around some ideas right now that may be major changes for me. working 50 hours a week may not be in my future. im running out of time to decide what i am going to do, but im 75% sure there will be change around here. still thinking....
Friday, March 16, 2012
last few hours? days? weeks?
i cant believe for some reason that im still pregnant. right now this is the third longest pregnancy and soon to be 2nd. will it be the longest? im not complaining, though. i seriously do love being pregnant. i find it amazing. last night john and i were just watching the baby move. its fun how different the first movements are compared to the last ones. hes definitely out of room, believe me lol. its fun to watch a foot or knee slide from one side of your belly to the other.
im also getting impatient because i want to see this guy! john says he will weigh 7 lbs 7 oz. i could smack him lol. my guess is 9 lbs 2 oz. i already know what he will look like in my mind, like the other 4 lol. they all could have been the same baby at first. leyton looked different in the next few weeks but the other 3 were pretty similar.
i would like my body back though, for sure. as i mentioned above 9 pounds is a lot of baby. my biggest baby so far was 8 lbs 15 oz and i dont rememeber her being room hogging lol. and i should rememeber as it wasnt even 2 years ago yet. amitys birthday is march 23rd. her due date was march 30th. this baby is also due march 30th. fun, but i hope they each get their own special day.
having the baby starts my countdown back to work. i am NOT looking forward to that. we dont have a sitter lined up for the kids, especially the summer. with all the guidelines and laws and such no one can legally have "room" for 5 extra kids. but omg i could not stay home and stay sane
so right now i am busying myself by sleeping til 10 or 11, hanging out with the two little ones while the big kids are in school, and buying and selling on the facebook garage sale sites. i do a lot more selling than buying though, so its a healthy habit haha
so how bout this weather? i had sold all of my boy clothes when i found out amity was a girl. she was the "last" baby so i started selling. so, i had to buy all new (to me) clothes for the new kid in town. wouldnt ya know i bought march appropriate clothes? nice little snowsuit and all lol
so for now, i will just hang out and concentrate on every little contraction like feeling...and have it turn into nothing. at times i forget that the baby really is going to come. then we will have 5 kids!
we cant wait to share the news of the arrival and tell people his name we have somehow managed to keep a secret :)
im also getting impatient because i want to see this guy! john says he will weigh 7 lbs 7 oz. i could smack him lol. my guess is 9 lbs 2 oz. i already know what he will look like in my mind, like the other 4 lol. they all could have been the same baby at first. leyton looked different in the next few weeks but the other 3 were pretty similar.
i would like my body back though, for sure. as i mentioned above 9 pounds is a lot of baby. my biggest baby so far was 8 lbs 15 oz and i dont rememeber her being room hogging lol. and i should rememeber as it wasnt even 2 years ago yet. amitys birthday is march 23rd. her due date was march 30th. this baby is also due march 30th. fun, but i hope they each get their own special day.
having the baby starts my countdown back to work. i am NOT looking forward to that. we dont have a sitter lined up for the kids, especially the summer. with all the guidelines and laws and such no one can legally have "room" for 5 extra kids. but omg i could not stay home and stay sane
so right now i am busying myself by sleeping til 10 or 11, hanging out with the two little ones while the big kids are in school, and buying and selling on the facebook garage sale sites. i do a lot more selling than buying though, so its a healthy habit haha
so how bout this weather? i had sold all of my boy clothes when i found out amity was a girl. she was the "last" baby so i started selling. so, i had to buy all new (to me) clothes for the new kid in town. wouldnt ya know i bought march appropriate clothes? nice little snowsuit and all lol
so for now, i will just hang out and concentrate on every little contraction like feeling...and have it turn into nothing. at times i forget that the baby really is going to come. then we will have 5 kids!
we cant wait to share the news of the arrival and tell people his name we have somehow managed to keep a secret :)
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