dont mean to be a negative nancy here, but, oh wait, yes, yes i do
my number one problem right now is my job. i am 98% sure my boss is trying to make me quit. how else do i explain me going to him in tears on several occasions begging him not to make me do to the hardest, hottest, heaviest lifting job at the farm and him acting concerned then telling me 5 minutes later to go do that job? i also have a doctors note excusing me from that job. too bad, so sad, go do it anyway. what would he care if my fetus fell out? he wouldnt, because my fetus doesnt pay as well as sow fetuses. now he is turning my co-workers against me. he cornered one and was fishing for info about me. asking if i was complaining. well duh i am! when i have appointments for kids or my doc i make them as late in the day as possible. i put in 102 hours per pay period. now suddenly me leaving 15 minutes early in a day is being documented as "valerie left early". i must have missed the spots that said valerie stayed and worked over time and time again.
on to the next thing that sucks. i am over 20 weks pregnant with my 5th kid. no thats not the part that sucks lol. the part that does is i have still yet to feel any movement from the little dude/gal. i know every pregnancy is different and a lot of people dont feel anything til around 20 weeks, especially first timers. well its past 20 weeks, and im, not a first timer. i go back to the doctor on wednesday, and i am trying my darndest to wait that long. but im scared. the only thing i do feel is contractions. they dont hurt, but they are frequent.
next sucky thing-- i am in the middle of a child custody revision with my ex. we both agreed on the revision and were both working with my lawyer so we could avoid court and all the bs that goes with it. this started over a month ago and he was supposed to have it all done and signed before our scheduled court date nov 15th. well guess what. havent seen anything, so too late now, court tuesday. then i can get more documentation bout missing work. not to mention my poor kid has had a toothache for amonth and half. taking him to the dentist the 21st, will also be more time off work and more ammunition when i am kicked out on my ass with no insurance or a job and pregnant. that guy is going to hell. (well, if it was my decision he would be)
so i got away for the weekend. it was all good and great. but now it it back to reality. john is being less than supportive. he thinks i can just go ahead an just stop thinking about it. wow. how does one do that? maybe if it was one of the above mentioned problems, but its many all at once. i could really go for some bedrest and sadly it prolly isnt too far from that.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Sad i have to justify, otherwise freaking THRILLED!!
Lets just get out there. im pregnant. yes, roll your eyes, think some rude comment to yourself like "anooooother one???" ok, now that thats out of the way!
i havent told like anybody. just a person here and there, like the dentist who wanted to put me under to pull a tooth. oh and my doctor, she knows too. my mom knows only because she didnt give me a choice of denying it. sadly, theres reasons no one knows. people are rude (im not pointing my finger at you per se lol) ok, a lot of people are rude. the people who think its for some reason their choice and not ours. you know the type. lets just keep in mind this is my body, my pocketbook, my social life etc. its also my joy and you may share that with me!
ok, on to the exciting parts! i am 17 weeks thursday. thursday the 20th of october. i dont know how long it will be before this is published, so you dont have to do math, my due date is march 30th 2012. amitys due date was also march 30th which i think is pretty darn cool. something about the 4th of july i guess lol. while either gender would be fine, cuz you know, i will have fiiiiive kids. we kinda hope it to be a girl though since her and amity would be the closest in age.
i am also excited because my sisters son, phoenix, and leyton are 6 months apart like to the day (one day off) and she is currently pregnant now too! this time we are only 7 weeks apart. we didnt plan it though as she was almost 17 weeks when she announced and at that point i was already 10 weeks. i dont know how she feels about that as she doesnt know yet as i type. leyton and phoenix play boy stuff and hopefully we can have two little princesses to have tea parties! lol
i woke up yesterday morning looking very pregnant. hoodies are hiding it (i think? but who would ask?) but i dont know for how much longer.
so, anyway, we are very excited and look forward to welcoming yet anooother baby. why not ya know? we have a big house, and jobs and insurance and all that fun stuff. our twigs and berries work good. though after this is over john will be SPRINTING to the twigs and berries doctor. now, gossip away!
ok, so now its oct 31st. john and i decided we would tell in november so march sounds closer. i wish i was able to be excited to tell. i really am excited. but dumb people make me feel like i am going to have to tell people we lost our house, or that i have contracted aids. i will give an example of why. someone said something that proves my point. i seriously got a text the other day out of the blue that said "are you done with the baby train?' i said excuse me? (thinking she sent it to the wrong person, like to the person she had let borrow a baby train, whatever that is...) her response to that was "you're not having any more kids are you?" again, WTF!!!! oh she just wanted to know if i wanted to sell amity's clothes to a girl who was having a bay girl in march, as amity was born. i simply responded that i wasnt gettting rid of anything. holy rude i may not have been so offended if i wasnt hiding a cantelope under my hoodie. i myself may have another baby girl in march is what i could have said. instead she will see my baby at easter april 8th, lmao
i havent told like anybody. just a person here and there, like the dentist who wanted to put me under to pull a tooth. oh and my doctor, she knows too. my mom knows only because she didnt give me a choice of denying it. sadly, theres reasons no one knows. people are rude (im not pointing my finger at you per se lol) ok, a lot of people are rude. the people who think its for some reason their choice and not ours. you know the type. lets just keep in mind this is my body, my pocketbook, my social life etc. its also my joy and you may share that with me!
ok, on to the exciting parts! i am 17 weeks thursday. thursday the 20th of october. i dont know how long it will be before this is published, so you dont have to do math, my due date is march 30th 2012. amitys due date was also march 30th which i think is pretty darn cool. something about the 4th of july i guess lol. while either gender would be fine, cuz you know, i will have fiiiiive kids. we kinda hope it to be a girl though since her and amity would be the closest in age.
i am also excited because my sisters son, phoenix, and leyton are 6 months apart like to the day (one day off) and she is currently pregnant now too! this time we are only 7 weeks apart. we didnt plan it though as she was almost 17 weeks when she announced and at that point i was already 10 weeks. i dont know how she feels about that as she doesnt know yet as i type. leyton and phoenix play boy stuff and hopefully we can have two little princesses to have tea parties! lol
i woke up yesterday morning looking very pregnant. hoodies are hiding it (i think? but who would ask?) but i dont know for how much longer.
so, anyway, we are very excited and look forward to welcoming yet anooother baby. why not ya know? we have a big house, and jobs and insurance and all that fun stuff. our twigs and berries work good. though after this is over john will be SPRINTING to the twigs and berries doctor. now, gossip away!
ok, so now its oct 31st. john and i decided we would tell in november so march sounds closer. i wish i was able to be excited to tell. i really am excited. but dumb people make me feel like i am going to have to tell people we lost our house, or that i have contracted aids. i will give an example of why. someone said something that proves my point. i seriously got a text the other day out of the blue that said "are you done with the baby train?' i said excuse me? (thinking she sent it to the wrong person, like to the person she had let borrow a baby train, whatever that is...) her response to that was "you're not having any more kids are you?" again, WTF!!!! oh she just wanted to know if i wanted to sell amity's clothes to a girl who was having a bay girl in march, as amity was born. i simply responded that i wasnt gettting rid of anything. holy rude i may not have been so offended if i wasnt hiding a cantelope under my hoodie. i myself may have another baby girl in march is what i could have said. instead she will see my baby at easter april 8th, lmao
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Leyton 3? no way!
So Leyton is 3 today. Like any parent, i have to ask "where did the time go?" but with Leyton's birthday comes a lot of memories. memories of the normal things like the excitement of a new birth drawing near, will he have hair? how much will he weigh? but with his story also comes memories of tremendous fear, uncertainty, stresses like no other, and surprisingly generous people. leytons birthday is a time to reflect on a great deal of things. we all tend to forget minor details of births. we forget it hurt, we forget what we did just days prior to the birth. but not with leyton, we remember it ALL.
for anyone who doesn't know, we found out at Leyton's 20 weeks ultrasound that he had a birth defect called gastroschisis. spell check doesn't know what it either, dont worry. basically it means his abdominal wall didn't close and now freely swimming around with him in the womb were his intestines... all of them. we freaked. what did this mean? the feeling in that doctors office was indescribable. Lillian went with us and she so innocently asked us "why are your eyes wet?".
there was nothing greatly different about the pregnancy. i did have the biggest belly ever as my body knew that leyton needed the extra cushion to protect his fragile body. i had gallons of fluid surrounding him. oh and just TONS of stress. would he even survive?
we spent the next 16 weeks driving to Columbus weekly for ultrasounds. while it was awesome to see him so many times before he was born, i hate riding and driving, and i hated that there was a reason we had to do this. near the end they scheduled an induction date. they didn't want me to go into labor 3 hours away. well sorry, but they were 3 days behind where leyton wanted to be. Oct 9, 2008 i went into labor. i stopped in Lima at the hospital and the doc said 4-5cm with bulging waters, you are headed to Columbus on life flight. yay! no 3 hour drive! hehe. i got to Columbus in like 20 minutes! why couldn't i have taken the chopper every time!
labor was normal, and delivery was normal. many people are surprised a c-section wasnt in order. nope, he got to come the old fashion way. i literally had 20 people in the delivery room. it was a big to do! leyton was born at 8 pm. he had hair, and he was tiny. born at 36 weeks he was 6 lbs 10 oz. aside from his insides being outside, he was perfect. despite being told i wouldnt get to hold him i was able to for a minute. long enough to kiss him goodbye
some babies get their intestines and such put back in the day they are born. leyton had way too much out to do that. his body formed without that stuff in there so it wouldnt all fit right away. they set him up with all of his organs in a plastic bag hanging above his belly. each day the doctor would squeeze some in, and gravity helped some too. 6 days after he was born everything was in place. at 8 days old he had surgery to close the abdominal wall. they dont stictch the outside to prevent infection and to not make a "canoe" shaped heal. so, he had a bandaid basically. BUT being closed up now meant we could hold him! it was no easy process. we had to gown up, have a nurse help with his 30 wires. he had a PIC line, and monitors and thermoteres and i.vs. with each passing week we got to lose a wire or two.
i pumped and pumped and pumped for leyton. i had seriously nothing else to do! lol. when we finally got to feed him he had to start with 7ml. if you arent familiar, thats like a bottle water cap full. it was quite a tease. he had to tolerate that for 3 feeding and could up it each day. he had to eat, he had to poop and he had to gain weight. wehn we first went in we were told to expect to be there for 4-6 weeks. we left after 3 weeks and 3 days. the day of his due date, november 4th. it was a bittersweet day! it was awesome to go home, but it was kind of scary too!
my parents kept Lillian and Sebastian almost every night while we were in Columbus they were 2 and 3 at the time. they came and stayed a few nights here and there and they got to hold their tiny baby brother too. the support we got from the people at my old job, the people at johns work and from our friends and families was overwhelming. we were also able to stay at the Ronald McDonald house the entire time. they took wonderful care of us! if anyone eve feels the need to donate to an organization may i suggest the Ronald McDonald house so everyone who needs to stay may?
leyton has no lasting effects from his ordeal. he has a weird belly button and i have no 401k left, but hey, he is here and smart and hilarious.
Happy 3rd Birthday Leyton Jeffrey, we love you!
for anyone who doesn't know, we found out at Leyton's 20 weeks ultrasound that he had a birth defect called gastroschisis. spell check doesn't know what it either, dont worry. basically it means his abdominal wall didn't close and now freely swimming around with him in the womb were his intestines... all of them. we freaked. what did this mean? the feeling in that doctors office was indescribable. Lillian went with us and she so innocently asked us "why are your eyes wet?".
there was nothing greatly different about the pregnancy. i did have the biggest belly ever as my body knew that leyton needed the extra cushion to protect his fragile body. i had gallons of fluid surrounding him. oh and just TONS of stress. would he even survive?
we spent the next 16 weeks driving to Columbus weekly for ultrasounds. while it was awesome to see him so many times before he was born, i hate riding and driving, and i hated that there was a reason we had to do this. near the end they scheduled an induction date. they didn't want me to go into labor 3 hours away. well sorry, but they were 3 days behind where leyton wanted to be. Oct 9, 2008 i went into labor. i stopped in Lima at the hospital and the doc said 4-5cm with bulging waters, you are headed to Columbus on life flight. yay! no 3 hour drive! hehe. i got to Columbus in like 20 minutes! why couldn't i have taken the chopper every time!
labor was normal, and delivery was normal. many people are surprised a c-section wasnt in order. nope, he got to come the old fashion way. i literally had 20 people in the delivery room. it was a big to do! leyton was born at 8 pm. he had hair, and he was tiny. born at 36 weeks he was 6 lbs 10 oz. aside from his insides being outside, he was perfect. despite being told i wouldnt get to hold him i was able to for a minute. long enough to kiss him goodbye
some babies get their intestines and such put back in the day they are born. leyton had way too much out to do that. his body formed without that stuff in there so it wouldnt all fit right away. they set him up with all of his organs in a plastic bag hanging above his belly. each day the doctor would squeeze some in, and gravity helped some too. 6 days after he was born everything was in place. at 8 days old he had surgery to close the abdominal wall. they dont stictch the outside to prevent infection and to not make a "canoe" shaped heal. so, he had a bandaid basically. BUT being closed up now meant we could hold him! it was no easy process. we had to gown up, have a nurse help with his 30 wires. he had a PIC line, and monitors and thermoteres and i.vs. with each passing week we got to lose a wire or two.
i pumped and pumped and pumped for leyton. i had seriously nothing else to do! lol. when we finally got to feed him he had to start with 7ml. if you arent familiar, thats like a bottle water cap full. it was quite a tease. he had to tolerate that for 3 feeding and could up it each day. he had to eat, he had to poop and he had to gain weight. wehn we first went in we were told to expect to be there for 4-6 weeks. we left after 3 weeks and 3 days. the day of his due date, november 4th. it was a bittersweet day! it was awesome to go home, but it was kind of scary too!
my parents kept Lillian and Sebastian almost every night while we were in Columbus they were 2 and 3 at the time. they came and stayed a few nights here and there and they got to hold their tiny baby brother too. the support we got from the people at my old job, the people at johns work and from our friends and families was overwhelming. we were also able to stay at the Ronald McDonald house the entire time. they took wonderful care of us! if anyone eve feels the need to donate to an organization may i suggest the Ronald McDonald house so everyone who needs to stay may?
leyton has no lasting effects from his ordeal. he has a weird belly button and i have no 401k left, but hey, he is here and smart and hilarious.
Friday, September 9, 2011
i have a BFF!!
i love my job. i really do. right now we are going through some horrible staffing issues. people come and go so fast. they hinder instead of help, then they leave. seeing them leave is a relief and frustration at the same time. next week someone else will walk in, suck, and then leave. then rebecca came...but now she is leaving :(
i worked with rebecca at my last job. we werent like close, but we always got along. we werent in the same department so it was just small chit chat in passing. though i did attend her kids birthday party once. anyway, i posted on my facebook asking if any of my friends wanted a hard job for not so great pay. i was worried as to which friend may ask about the job. rebecca did and immediatly i was like "yea, rebecca is cool!" her application process was stupid long. my boss said she was overqualified with her vet tech degree and such. she said she didnt mind. FINALLY she got it.
we were fast friends. we have so much in common- a dead beat ex husband, our oldest kids are the exact same age (and one of her daughters even looks like she could be my oldest daughters long lost twin!), we are pretty much the same age. she even packed like the exact same lunch as me her first day (and many other days) we are the only girls at the farm, yet we have the biggest brains lol. we talk about anything and everything. i tell her things i wouldnt think to tell anyone else. we can poke fun at each other one minute, and empathize with each other the next. we protect each other from the boys. we help each other when no one else would jump in and help. we decided we were totally BFFs lol.
then biolife called. 2 more dollars an hour, immediate benefits, sundays off, etc. why wouldnt she leave?? i want her to go because i wish her well. i am sad that she is leaving. its not even that she is leaving and we will be short handed. i wouldnt care if there was 100 peole working there i would still be sad. she too is probably crying herself to sleep right now.
im still going to see her and text her 100 times a day. i am going to go get her girls on days the works past daycares closing. we will still be BFFs, i just wont see her every single day.
i am so happy she got to work with me for a short while. now she will understand any story i tell of the farm (not alot of people "get it"), and i have someone i can talk to about anything, everything and more., someone i can trust with my biggest secrets or embarrassing moments. she is definitely the true definition of a best friend. i love you rebecca, enjoy your new job (and now i cry too)
i worked with rebecca at my last job. we werent like close, but we always got along. we werent in the same department so it was just small chit chat in passing. though i did attend her kids birthday party once. anyway, i posted on my facebook asking if any of my friends wanted a hard job for not so great pay. i was worried as to which friend may ask about the job. rebecca did and immediatly i was like "yea, rebecca is cool!" her application process was stupid long. my boss said she was overqualified with her vet tech degree and such. she said she didnt mind. FINALLY she got it.
we were fast friends. we have so much in common- a dead beat ex husband, our oldest kids are the exact same age (and one of her daughters even looks like she could be my oldest daughters long lost twin!), we are pretty much the same age. she even packed like the exact same lunch as me her first day (and many other days) we are the only girls at the farm, yet we have the biggest brains lol. we talk about anything and everything. i tell her things i wouldnt think to tell anyone else. we can poke fun at each other one minute, and empathize with each other the next. we protect each other from the boys. we help each other when no one else would jump in and help. we decided we were totally BFFs lol.
then biolife called. 2 more dollars an hour, immediate benefits, sundays off, etc. why wouldnt she leave?? i want her to go because i wish her well. i am sad that she is leaving. its not even that she is leaving and we will be short handed. i wouldnt care if there was 100 peole working there i would still be sad. she too is probably crying herself to sleep right now.
im still going to see her and text her 100 times a day. i am going to go get her girls on days the works past daycares closing. we will still be BFFs, i just wont see her every single day.
i am so happy she got to work with me for a short while. now she will understand any story i tell of the farm (not alot of people "get it"), and i have someone i can talk to about anything, everything and more., someone i can trust with my biggest secrets or embarrassing moments. she is definitely the true definition of a best friend. i love you rebecca, enjoy your new job (and now i cry too)
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Guess i should update the tonsil story...
so we get to the hospital. i have to carry my 86 pound kid into the e.r that was all fenced off and i had to walk around the hospital to enter. good thing I'm strong!
everyone there was pretty concerned about her. she had the doctor in very soon despite a terribly busy e.r. they drew blood and started an i.v again. didn't even phase her this time. that's how out of it she was! they did a chest xray and strep swab in addition. she wouldn't talk to anyone and for anyone who knows Lillian you know that she will tell her whole life story if you don't stop her lol
eventually the strep test came back positive. my poor baby has strep on top of the the pain she already had. ouch. we hung out in the e.r for about 7 hours. there was much discussion of admitting her so they could keep the fluids going in. it was about that time that Lillian says "hey mom will you go out to the van and get that pop?" ( i had brought one in the van) i laughed and said I'm sure they have pop here. so they hooked her up. she got a gatorade, a sierra mist, and a popsicle. she didn't finish any of them, but she got a good start on them.. that was her ticket out. but that wasnt before the antiobiotic she got gave her crazy itchy palms and feet! so that earned her a (not) fee shot of benadryl to go along with it.
so, we left with a prescription for zythromax. i know kids get sick, and that things get missed, but seriously, she had this before surgery. they ignored the fever and rash and operated anyway.
today lillian is halfway normal. she smiled today. we even got out of the house for a bit. hopefully tomorrow she is as good as new :)
everyone there was pretty concerned about her. she had the doctor in very soon despite a terribly busy e.r. they drew blood and started an i.v again. didn't even phase her this time. that's how out of it she was! they did a chest xray and strep swab in addition. she wouldn't talk to anyone and for anyone who knows Lillian you know that she will tell her whole life story if you don't stop her lol
eventually the strep test came back positive. my poor baby has strep on top of the the pain she already had. ouch. we hung out in the e.r for about 7 hours. there was much discussion of admitting her so they could keep the fluids going in. it was about that time that Lillian says "hey mom will you go out to the van and get that pop?" ( i had brought one in the van) i laughed and said I'm sure they have pop here. so they hooked her up. she got a gatorade, a sierra mist, and a popsicle. she didn't finish any of them, but she got a good start on them.. that was her ticket out. but that wasnt before the antiobiotic she got gave her crazy itchy palms and feet! so that earned her a (not) fee shot of benadryl to go along with it.
so, we left with a prescription for zythromax. i know kids get sick, and that things get missed, but seriously, she had this before surgery. they ignored the fever and rash and operated anyway.
today lillian is halfway normal. she smiled today. we even got out of the house for a bit. hopefully tomorrow she is as good as new :)
Friday, July 29, 2011
What have i done?
So Lillian is a snorer. Always has been really. So what? So what is what i think now. I mentioned the snoring at her 6 year well child check. The Dr. looked in her mouth and called an ENT right then. She said that the tonsils were almost touching. She also said that a lot of kids lose weight after they get their tonsils out because kids who snore loud and all night dont get enough rest and then mistake hunger for tiredness. And at at 86 pounds, I thought this was great news. We got in like 3 days later for a consultation with a doctor new to the area. He took one quick look in Lillian's mouth and says "yes, they have got to come out for sure". We made an appointment 3 weeks later. That was yesterday...
Lillian is scared to death of needles, completely opposite of her momma, and was brave and ready to do this thing until i told her she would require an I.V. She cried nearly all the way to lima. Heartbreak number one for mommy. we got to the hospital (my first time ever stepping foot into memorial as a patient) and things started well. the doc was running ahead of schedule, she got a teddy bear all decked out in surgery apparel. she got a goody bag full of rings, and fake bugs, and bouncy balls, and stampers, and crayons and every other coolest thign ever. she was dressed in mint green pajamas they let her wear. she looked so pretty sitting there.that must be her color. then things got messy. they came and told me they were taking her. i told them that the woman on the phoe told me that i would be with her until she fell asleep. not the case. so i had lied to lillian. she had to leave me, without me even gettting to hold her hand while she got that dreaded I.V. we walked with her a bit before we went down seperate hallways. then some nurse comes running down the hallway with medicine they "forgot" to give her. oh thanks, thats reassuring... so the surgery should take 15 minutes
john and i sat in the surgery waiting room for about an hour. then we got the call that the doc was ready to talk to us. we went to that waiting for 20 minutes. he said things went good, and that she had "very large" tonsils but they got them taken care of. he left us there with no direction so we went and found someone who told us where we could meet Lillian. Pediatric floor, room 19. john and i waited there for over an hour. He had to go back to work so he reluctantly left. A bit later a nurse comes in and says "did they come tell you what happened" uh no?! he then explained that they had a difficult time getting her airway secured after removing the tube. im not entirely sure what that means, and i dont think i want to know either. he asked if i wanted to go where she was. um yes! so he calls and asks and they said no and that she would be up in 10-15 minutes. 25 minutes later there she was.
she looked awful. blood coming from her nose. very dopey looking. she glanced at me and went right back to sleep. they made her crawl to the other bed. it was such a pitiful sight. she was allowed to sleep for a while before they made her try a drink. that was pure torture. every single drink she took brought real tears to her eyes. if she wasnt asleep she was crying. this went on for hours. her discharge time was scheduled for 6 pm. at 430 we finally got her up to go to the bathroom. she was dizzy and stumbling. peed, and back to sleep. they made her drink 2 grape juices before she could go home. it apparently didnt matter that she was running a low grade fever (99.3) despite loads of tylenol with codeine. it didnt matter that she was in a rediculous amount of pain. it didnt matter that she had to use a wheelchair to go outside. we were headed home. i felt very rushed. i also found it concerning that i had to go find a nurse after 20 minutes of the dead battery alarm going off on the I.V pump becasue no one plugged it in. i also found it odd that the peel off calendar still read july 11th.
we got home and the first thing lillian does is puke all over the love seat and floor. thats the one thing she didnt do at the hospital that was promising. then next thing she does is sleep more. i woke her and gave her her meds and helped her up to bed.
i got up today thrilled to go to work. my mom was gonna have lillian today. after spending 10 hours in the hospital i really was excited to go to work. i found lillian on the couch again. she had blood on her face and was super hot and red. her temp was 103. i was just going to give her the tylenol and have mom love her while i went to work. then i went upstairs to her room to find a trash can full of bright red chunky blood she had thrown up. so right now i am killing time waiting for joey to show up to get sebastian so i can return lillian to the e.r. joey, who by the way never stepped foot in the hosptial even though he is off this week. just so everyone knows. bla
so, now i feel like an awful mom. i still have my tonsils as do plenty of people in this world. i didnt NEED to sign her up for this. now she is suffering to say the least. i know that when we go back to the hospital she will get another I.V as she has got to be severely dehydrated with the fever and the lack of drinking. at least i will be able to hold her hand for this one
Lillian is scared to death of needles, completely opposite of her momma, and was brave and ready to do this thing until i told her she would require an I.V. She cried nearly all the way to lima. Heartbreak number one for mommy. we got to the hospital (my first time ever stepping foot into memorial as a patient) and things started well. the doc was running ahead of schedule, she got a teddy bear all decked out in surgery apparel. she got a goody bag full of rings, and fake bugs, and bouncy balls, and stampers, and crayons and every other coolest thign ever. she was dressed in mint green pajamas they let her wear. she looked so pretty sitting there.that must be her color. then things got messy. they came and told me they were taking her. i told them that the woman on the phoe told me that i would be with her until she fell asleep. not the case. so i had lied to lillian. she had to leave me, without me even gettting to hold her hand while she got that dreaded I.V. we walked with her a bit before we went down seperate hallways. then some nurse comes running down the hallway with medicine they "forgot" to give her. oh thanks, thats reassuring... so the surgery should take 15 minutes
john and i sat in the surgery waiting room for about an hour. then we got the call that the doc was ready to talk to us. we went to that waiting for 20 minutes. he said things went good, and that she had "very large" tonsils but they got them taken care of. he left us there with no direction so we went and found someone who told us where we could meet Lillian. Pediatric floor, room 19. john and i waited there for over an hour. He had to go back to work so he reluctantly left. A bit later a nurse comes in and says "did they come tell you what happened" uh no?! he then explained that they had a difficult time getting her airway secured after removing the tube. im not entirely sure what that means, and i dont think i want to know either. he asked if i wanted to go where she was. um yes! so he calls and asks and they said no and that she would be up in 10-15 minutes. 25 minutes later there she was.
she looked awful. blood coming from her nose. very dopey looking. she glanced at me and went right back to sleep. they made her crawl to the other bed. it was such a pitiful sight. she was allowed to sleep for a while before they made her try a drink. that was pure torture. every single drink she took brought real tears to her eyes. if she wasnt asleep she was crying. this went on for hours. her discharge time was scheduled for 6 pm. at 430 we finally got her up to go to the bathroom. she was dizzy and stumbling. peed, and back to sleep. they made her drink 2 grape juices before she could go home. it apparently didnt matter that she was running a low grade fever (99.3) despite loads of tylenol with codeine. it didnt matter that she was in a rediculous amount of pain. it didnt matter that she had to use a wheelchair to go outside. we were headed home. i felt very rushed. i also found it concerning that i had to go find a nurse after 20 minutes of the dead battery alarm going off on the I.V pump becasue no one plugged it in. i also found it odd that the peel off calendar still read july 11th.
we got home and the first thing lillian does is puke all over the love seat and floor. thats the one thing she didnt do at the hospital that was promising. then next thing she does is sleep more. i woke her and gave her her meds and helped her up to bed.
i got up today thrilled to go to work. my mom was gonna have lillian today. after spending 10 hours in the hospital i really was excited to go to work. i found lillian on the couch again. she had blood on her face and was super hot and red. her temp was 103. i was just going to give her the tylenol and have mom love her while i went to work. then i went upstairs to her room to find a trash can full of bright red chunky blood she had thrown up. so right now i am killing time waiting for joey to show up to get sebastian so i can return lillian to the e.r. joey, who by the way never stepped foot in the hosptial even though he is off this week. just so everyone knows. bla
so, now i feel like an awful mom. i still have my tonsils as do plenty of people in this world. i didnt NEED to sign her up for this. now she is suffering to say the least. i know that when we go back to the hospital she will get another I.V as she has got to be severely dehydrated with the fever and the lack of drinking. at least i will be able to hold her hand for this one
Thursday, July 7, 2011
I made my parents disappear?!...i made my parents disappear!
Lillian and Sebastian are in the summer reading program at the library. Lillian goes on Tuesday and Sebastian on Thursday. Joey's mom takes them there and then usually hangs out with them for a while afterward. So, when Sebastian headed out tonight at 6:30 we went and looked at a set of cupboards we so desperatly need for the kitchen. A lady is remodeling and while they are too outdated for her, we aren't picky. Cupboards are cupboards. So after listening to her forever how her kitchen is going to look, we went home.
We got home and the dog greeted us outside. That's odd because we always put him in the bathroom when we leave. Had we forgotten to put him in the bathroom, we certainly didn't leave him outside. So we all went inside to find a very distraught little boy. Joey's dad did the picking up and the dropping off. He must have just dropped him off and left. I bet 100 things were going through Sebastian's almost 5 year old brain. Apparently letting the dog out was something he needed to do? He was scared and happy to see us. John hugged him. Then he came to me and I held him forever. I told him we were sorry, we had no idea we wouldn't beat him home! He said he looked upstairs and all through the house. He was standing at the front door when we got in looking for the dog who he probably assumed also left him since he ran to the back door when we pulled in.
I asked him if he has seen the movie Home Alone. He has not. Guess we will watch it very soon. Poor kid.
We got home and the dog greeted us outside. That's odd because we always put him in the bathroom when we leave. Had we forgotten to put him in the bathroom, we certainly didn't leave him outside. So we all went inside to find a very distraught little boy. Joey's dad did the picking up and the dropping off. He must have just dropped him off and left. I bet 100 things were going through Sebastian's almost 5 year old brain. Apparently letting the dog out was something he needed to do? He was scared and happy to see us. John hugged him. Then he came to me and I held him forever. I told him we were sorry, we had no idea we wouldn't beat him home! He said he looked upstairs and all through the house. He was standing at the front door when we got in looking for the dog who he probably assumed also left him since he ran to the back door when we pulled in.
I asked him if he has seen the movie Home Alone. He has not. Guess we will watch it very soon. Poor kid.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)