Saturday, November 12, 2011

however you spell a long scream goes here

dont mean to be a negative nancy here, but, oh wait, yes, yes i do
my number one problem right now is my job. i am 98% sure my boss is trying to make me quit.  how else do i explain me going to him in tears on several occasions begging him not to make me do  to the hardest, hottest, heaviest lifting job at the farm and him acting concerned then telling me 5 minutes later to go do that job?  i also have a doctors note excusing me from that job. too bad, so sad, go do it anyway.  what would he care if my fetus fell out?  he wouldnt, because my fetus doesnt pay as well as sow fetuses. now he is turning my co-workers against me.  he cornered one and was fishing for info about me. asking if i was complaining.  well duh i am! when i have appointments for kids or my doc i make them as late in the day as possible.  i put in 102 hours per pay period.  now suddenly me leaving 15 minutes early in a  day is being documented as "valerie left early". i must have missed the spots that said valerie stayed and worked over time and time again.
    on to the next thing that sucks.  i am over 20 weks pregnant with my 5th kid.  no thats not the part that sucks lol.  the part that does is i have still yet to feel any movement from the little dude/gal. i know every pregnancy is different and a lot of people dont feel anything til around 20 weeks, especially first timers.  well its past 20 weeks, and im, not a first timer.  i go back to the doctor on wednesday, and i am trying my darndest to wait that long.  but im scared.  the only thing i do feel is contractions.  they dont hurt, but they are frequent.
next sucky thing-- i  am in the middle of a child custody revision with my ex.  we both agreed on the revision and were both working with my lawyer so we could avoid court and all the bs that goes with it.  this started over a month ago and he was supposed to have it all done and signed before our scheduled court date nov 15th.  well guess what.  havent seen anything, so too late now, court tuesday.  then i can get more documentation bout missing work. not to mention my poor kid has had a toothache for amonth and half.  taking him to the dentist the 21st, will also be more time off work and more ammunition when i am kicked out on my ass with no insurance or a job and pregnant.  that guy is going to hell. (well, if it was my decision he would be)
so i got away for the weekend. it was all good and great.  but now it it back to reality.  john is being less than supportive.  he thinks i can just go ahead an just stop thinking about it.  wow.  how does one do that? maybe if it was one of the above mentioned problems, but its many all at once.  i could really go for some bedrest and sadly it prolly isnt too far from that.


  1. Try not to worry about not feeling anything. An anterior placenta can muffle darn near any movement up until the end of the pregnancy (been there, done that with the last two pregnancies). I know it's worrying, but stress is bad for you and the bub.

  2. i know lisa, i had it with one other baby. its just added to the crap that i am dealing with and knowing what my body has been through at work just doesnt ease my mind.