Saturday, November 12, 2011

however you spell a long scream goes here

dont mean to be a negative nancy here, but, oh wait, yes, yes i do
my number one problem right now is my job. i am 98% sure my boss is trying to make me quit.  how else do i explain me going to him in tears on several occasions begging him not to make me do  to the hardest, hottest, heaviest lifting job at the farm and him acting concerned then telling me 5 minutes later to go do that job?  i also have a doctors note excusing me from that job. too bad, so sad, go do it anyway.  what would he care if my fetus fell out?  he wouldnt, because my fetus doesnt pay as well as sow fetuses. now he is turning my co-workers against me.  he cornered one and was fishing for info about me. asking if i was complaining.  well duh i am! when i have appointments for kids or my doc i make them as late in the day as possible.  i put in 102 hours per pay period.  now suddenly me leaving 15 minutes early in a  day is being documented as "valerie left early". i must have missed the spots that said valerie stayed and worked over time and time again.
    on to the next thing that sucks.  i am over 20 weks pregnant with my 5th kid.  no thats not the part that sucks lol.  the part that does is i have still yet to feel any movement from the little dude/gal. i know every pregnancy is different and a lot of people dont feel anything til around 20 weeks, especially first timers.  well its past 20 weeks, and im, not a first timer.  i go back to the doctor on wednesday, and i am trying my darndest to wait that long.  but im scared.  the only thing i do feel is contractions.  they dont hurt, but they are frequent.
next sucky thing-- i  am in the middle of a child custody revision with my ex.  we both agreed on the revision and were both working with my lawyer so we could avoid court and all the bs that goes with it.  this started over a month ago and he was supposed to have it all done and signed before our scheduled court date nov 15th.  well guess what.  havent seen anything, so too late now, court tuesday.  then i can get more documentation bout missing work. not to mention my poor kid has had a toothache for amonth and half.  taking him to the dentist the 21st, will also be more time off work and more ammunition when i am kicked out on my ass with no insurance or a job and pregnant.  that guy is going to hell. (well, if it was my decision he would be)
so i got away for the weekend. it was all good and great.  but now it it back to reality.  john is being less than supportive.  he thinks i can just go ahead an just stop thinking about it.  wow.  how does one do that? maybe if it was one of the above mentioned problems, but its many all at once.  i could really go for some bedrest and sadly it prolly isnt too far from that.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Sad i have to justify, otherwise freaking THRILLED!!

Lets just get out there.  im pregnant.  yes, roll your eyes, think some rude comment to yourself like "anooooother one???"  ok, now that thats out of the way!
i havent told like anybody.  just a person here and there, like the dentist who wanted to put me under to pull a tooth. oh and my doctor, she knows too.  my mom knows only because she didnt give me a choice of denying it. sadly, theres reasons no one knows. people are rude (im not pointing my finger at you per se lol)  ok, a lot of people are rude.  the people who think its for some reason their choice and not ours.  you know the type.  lets just keep in mind this is my body, my pocketbook, my social life etc.  its also my joy and you may share that with me!
ok, on to the exciting parts!  i am 17 weeks thursday.  thursday the 20th of october.  i dont know how long it will be before this is published, so you dont have to do math, my due date is march 30th 2012.  amitys due date was also march 30th which i think is pretty darn cool.  something about the 4th of july i guess lol. while either gender would be fine, cuz you know, i will have fiiiiive kids.  we kinda hope it to be a girl though since her and amity would be the closest in age.
i am also excited because my sisters son, phoenix,  and leyton are 6 months apart like to the day (one day off) and she is currently pregnant now too!  this time we are only 7 weeks apart.  we didnt plan it though as she was almost 17 weeks when she announced and at that point i was already 10 weeks. i dont know how she feels about that as she doesnt know yet as i type.  leyton and phoenix play boy stuff and hopefully we can have two little princesses to have tea parties!  lol
i woke up yesterday morning looking very pregnant.  hoodies are hiding it (i think? but who would ask?) but i dont know for how much longer.
so, anyway, we are very excited and look forward to welcoming yet anooother baby.  why not ya know? we have a big house, and jobs and insurance and all that fun stuff.  our twigs and berries work good.  though after this is over john will be SPRINTING to the twigs and berries doctor.  now, gossip away!



ok, so now its oct 31st.  john and i decided we would tell in november so march sounds closer.  i wish i was able to be excited to tell.  i really am excited.  but dumb people make me feel like i am going to have to tell people we lost our house, or that i have contracted aids.   i will give an example of why. someone said something that proves my point.   i seriously got a text the other day out of the blue that said "are you done with the baby train?' i said excuse me? (thinking she sent it to the wrong person, like to the person she had let borrow a baby train, whatever that is...) her response to that was "you're not having any more kids are you?"  again, WTF!!!!  oh she just wanted to know if i wanted to sell amity's clothes to a girl who was having a bay girl in march, as amity was born.  i simply responded that i wasnt gettting rid of anything.  holy rude  i may not have been so offended if i wasnt hiding  a cantelope under my hoodie.  i  myself may have another baby girl in march is what i could have said.  instead she will see my baby at easter april 8th, lmao